Thinking

day 24 of the new year.
I am still thinking of him all the time!
Nearly every song I listen to I think of him so much!
When I am laying in bed he is on my mind.
Is that weird... I cannot stop thinking about him, but yet I still do not
know how I feel... obviously there is something but I am so confused!
I miss him.. I know that much.
I think about how everything would of turned out if he stayed...
but he didn't so what is the point he is gone..
I have not seen him since he left that day.
We talk on computer every so often and on the odd occasion on webcam,
but it is not the same... i need him here.
I am stressed out because of work and because school starting back in a few days,
then there is him.. i miss him and i feel like I am not happy.. I want to but then..
I think of him and miss him..
does he sit and think of me?
does he wonder what everything would of been like if he stayed?
does he miss me?
ahh I do not know!
why does everything have to be so complicated??
why can it not be easy.. why couldn't he stay?
two words... thats life
get over it I guess hey? move on find someone new?
I will try hopefully I will find someone this year..
hopefully they will be as good as him, but I do not think there are many guys like him around these days.
how many guys do you know that will open your door for you when you get in and out of a car?
be romantic and sweet.
how many guys have you heard say that they don't want to sleep with anyone until they are older.. they are not interested in all the "fun stuff" other guys are into.
not many! he was perfect he made me smile and laugh.
We could talk on the phone for hours and not run out of things to talk about!
man I miss him!
well im off, done enough venting :)
x